What Are You Good At?

‎"You owe it to us all to get on with what you’re good at." ~ W. H. Auden

What are you good at?  What do you think you are good at?  What do you dream about being good at?

I pose these questions to you, dear hypothetical reader, because I am thoroughly convinced that each and every member of society has something unique to offer.  Your skills, talents, and abilities may impact thousands of people, or may touch the life of one, but no gifting shared with others.is wasted.  Each of us carries within us something that somebody else needs, and to hold back from stepping out into your calling out of fear is to deprive others.

We may or may not know what that is.  But somewhere, deep inside our spirits, there is a restless itch that nags at us for expression.  It is that inner whisper that calls to us, and never stays silent for long.  For me, it is writing, it is photography, it is music.  Am I “good” at these things?  I’m sure that it depends upon who you ask.  What’s important, though, is if I discover within me the raw undeveloped elements of talent, it is my responsibility to nurture it.

Nobody ever begins ‘good’ at anything, no matter how effortless it seems.  If the passion is there, pursue it.  Make mistakes.  Fail.  Try again.  Above all, don’t give up.  As W. H. Auden wrote, “You owe it to us all to get on with what you’re good at.”

So I ask you again – What are you good at?  What do you want to be good at?

Update on My Writing Dreams

“The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium.”
~ Norbet Platt

In autumn of 2009, I took a creative writing course as part of my college studies, which I had blogged about in earlier posts.  At that time, I had taken great joy from rediscovering my passion for writing and for the creative process, and upon the conclusion of that class, I had assumed that my inner fire was going to continue to burn bright and strong.  I was going to finally write that novel, or at least write something suitable for publication.

I was wrong.

Shortly after the class was over, the words stopped flowing.  That is to say, the words didn’t necessarily stop flowing so much as I stopped trying.  For those twelve weeks during which I had mindfully tapped deep into my psyche to draw out stories, poems, musings, etc., it became easier and easier to cast words upon the page, to give them live, if even in my own eyes.  Once the deadlines and discipline of the class ended, however, I stopped pushing myself to “just do it”.

But… I have to remind myself that I didn’t let that fire entirely dwindle out.  In the year that has passed since that class, I have been periodically stirring the embers.  A blog post here, a deeper thought articulated as a status message there, a narrative in an e-mail here, and an expression of emotion in prolonged conversation there… I have continued to give myself snippets of voice.  Granted, it has not been on the scale of the creative writing assignments, but it is still considerably more than I have written in years.

So, for any of you who have followed this blog through its fits and starts since I originally launched it, and who have wondered what ever became of the whole writing thing….  I may not be as “on fire” as I was a year ago at this time, but the embers are definitely smoldering and sparking, waiting for the right wind to come to breathe upon them.

The dream to write is still alive.

Ch…ch…ch…Changes

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” 
~ Alexander Graham Bell

Life is a constant series of transitions.  Unfortunately, all too often, just as we have finally adjusted to the last series of changes, we are blindsided by a whole new set of changes.  Indeed, as it is said, “change is the only constant.”

I’ve gotten to the point in my life where if things remain the same for a little too long, I begin to get restless and nervous, knowing that the longer the peace, the greater the change.  Personally, I prefer change to come in small, steady increments, always flowing and evolving.  But I have no say in these matters, and it’s probably just as well that I don’t.

Am I the same person that I was this time last year?  Yes and no.  I can look back at some of the blog entries I had written around that time, and while I see a man who is mostly familiar, I also see someone who has become a little bit of a stranger to me.  Yet, it is difficult to identify what is different, much less to try to articulate what I think I see.

Change is inevitable, and while we cannot prevent its coming, we can make the most of the opportunities to learn and to grow that it always presents.  The past will always live on in our hearts, but we cannot live there.

As the doors in your life are shutting, some slammed, some gently closed, don’t linger long, but look around for the doors that are even now opening to you.  The next chapter of your adventure awaits, if you will only step boldly through.

Transitions

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

As of this writing, I am 42 and a half.  I am still at the beginning stages (I hope) of the second half of my life.  My first 40 years are still a set of taillights in my rearview mirror, driving away from me, but still close enough for me to hear the roar of the engine, to smell the exhaust left behind it its wake. 

Many things have changed over the past couple of years, and I am acutely aware that I am in a state of transition… only I don’t know what lies ahead.  I’ll let you know when I’ve figured it out.  In the meantime, looking back at the posts I’ve written here so far, I can see several things:

1. I haven’t found my blog ‘hook’ yet.  I intended to just journal some of my thoughts and perceptions as I entered my post-40 years, but I’ve yet to find a specific focus to write about.  I’ve written about writing, I’ve written about school, I’ve written about emotions, I’ve shared a few items I found to be interesting or humorous.  I’ve made my own attempts at being insightful and introspective.  Which brings me to the next point…
2. I’ve spent a lot of time saying much, yet saying nothing.  That’s not to say that I haven’t said anything of inherent value, for much of the worth of writing depends upon the reader, which in this case was me.  *I*, at least, identified and related to what I wrote.  My point is, though, that I need to find my focus point for this blog, and to write posts more closely related to it, instead of random meanderings.  Which brings me to the NEXT point…
3. I’m too wordy!  Enough said.  And finally…
4. I’ve slacked off in writing posts.  Again, stating the obvious here.  As has traditionally been the norm for me, I started this blog well, writing regularly, but all too soon completely fell off the map.

So, here I am, almost a year after starting this blog, picking up the proverbial pen once again.  I’m going to try to make a few adjustments in the above areas, and see if I can’t get back into the swing of writing regularly again.  One factor that may motivate me to do so is that I’ve recently begun a stint as one of the student bloggers at Granite State College.  I’m tasked with writing 8-10 blog posts over the course of a 12-week term, so perhaps writing there will inspire me to write here as well.

What does all this have to do with the Emerson quote above?  Simple.  Among my critics, perhaps the one I take the most seriously is my own inner critic, who constantly urges me to just quit, who tells me that I’ll never succeed at anything, who relentlessly torments me with self-doubt and self-condemnation.  I’m learning to ignore him.

By the way, if you’re reading this, and are interested in checking out my other blog, it’s here:

http://blog.granite.edu/blog/underacheiver-no-more

And, having said that, if you are reading this…. Thank you!  :-)

To Blog or Not to Blog

I recently learned about Blogger’s new Template Designer feature.  Suddenly, a whole wealth of design possibilities became available to me, and my first reaction was “Wow!”  My second reaction, however, was an incredible wave of guilt and shame as I realized just how long it has been since my last post. 

What is the point of getting excited over design potential if I don’t add content from time to time?

Other friends have continued to be faithful at the whole blogging experience:

http://vanbontasguitars.blogspot.com/
http://wegovorimblog.blogspot.com/
http://peart93.blogspot.com/

But, as for me?  Well, I don’t really have an acceptable answer to that, and it’s making me think long and hard about whether I should attempt to fire up the old initiative, or whether I should just cut my losses and admit defeat in this area.

I enjoyed writing while I was doing it regularly.

I also have a hard time sustaining momentum after a while.

If I were to stick around for a little while longer, I think that I’ll need to refine the purpose and intent of this blog to better clarify what I mean by “Better Than the First Half”, and to write posts focusing on whatever that is.

Thoughts, anyone?

Anybody?

A Quote on Intentions

“What is the quality of your intent?

“Certain people have a way of saying things that shake us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering. What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do good, we do. When we intend to do harm, it happens. What each of us must come to realize is that our intent always comes through. We cannot sugarcoat the feelings in our heart of hearts. The emotion is the energy that motivates. We cannot ignore what we really want to create. We should be honest and do it the way we feel it. What we owe to ourselves and everyone around is to examine the reasons of our true intent.

“My intent will be evident in the results.”

~ Thurgood Marshall

Order Out of Chaos

Another twelve-week term is about to begin.  This time around, I am taking “Assessment of Prior Learning” and “Software Tools”.  The latter should be fairly simple for me – I had debated applying for waiver to bypass the course, as I already have a comfortable familiarity with computers, Windows, Microsoft Office, and the Internet.  However, in light of the coursework I’m anticipating in my other class, and the fact that I could always stand to learn more about Office, I decided to take the class to provide a sense of balance for the winter term.

“Assessment of Prior Learning” is not a class, per se.  I’ll be working one-on-one with a mentor in the weeks ahead to gather and assess all of my relevant knowledge and skills gained through my life and work experiences.  By the end of the term, I’ll have developed a written portfolio summarizing and documenting this information, and will be submitting it for consideration for further college credits toward my degree in addition to the four credits awarded for the course.

I have no idea how much, if any, of my life experience will translate into college credit.  I’m currently feeling as though I am sitting in the middle of stacks of unsorted snapshots of my life with the goal of determining which are worthy of preservation in a scrapbook, of organizing them by date, of categorizing them by subject, and of completing said scrapbook as a cohesive final project all within twelve weeks.

In other words, I’m to make order out of chaos.

For a spatial, abstract thinker like me, this is not always easy.  It isn’t undoable, thankfully.  I sometimes have to employ specific strategies in order to adopt a linear mindset, but it can be done.  If nothing else, I’ll emerge on the other side of this course with four more credits toward my degree, a cohesive unified understanding of my working knowledge and skills, and an articulate narrative of who I am and where I’ve been in life to date.

Now if I could just learn to say in ten words what I tend to say in a hundred…

A Few (for me) Words on 2009

By now, I’m sure the blogosphere (do they still call it that?) is abuzz with reminiscences and analysis of 2009, or even of the entire first decade of the 21st century.  I had a brief thought of casting my words in that general direction as well, but thought better of it.  There are far more articulate, humorous, insightful people than myself already saying all there could possibly be said about what Time Magazine described as “The Decade from Hell.”

I don’t know about that, but I suppose it’s all a matter of perspective.  As for me, however, I’m not going to waste my words on negativity, but I’m choosing to look at some of the blessings that God gave me in 2009.

Here’s just the first few that come to mind:

• I rediscovered my love for writing, even as my long-standing writer’s block crumbled into dust.  No, I haven’t been published.  No, I haven’t written a book, nor am I in the process of writing anything “big” as of yet, but there are stories and poems within me gaining voice.
• I reconnected with several friends through Facebook, where I also made many new friendships with people I had known in a whole other lifetime.
• I stopped talking about entering my photography into the annual fair, and I actually did it, thanks to my wife who was a constant source of encouragement.  Not only did I have the sense of satisfaction from putting something of me “out there”, but I managed to win a blue ribbon for my efforts!  Sure, it’s just a photography contest in a small town country fair, but to me, I might as well have won the Nobel Peace Prize.  (Okay, slight exaggeration, but it really was a big deal to me…)
• Again, I stopped talking about someday taking the Mensa admission test, and actually did it, again partly due to the loving support and encouragement of my wife.  The test itself was a fun experience, but I don’t think anything in 2009 floored me more than receiving my acceptance and welcome letter in the mail.  That particular day had been a very difficult, emotionally draining day, and the letter was an unexpected ray of sunshine through otherwise dark and dreary storm clouds.

In many ways, 2009 was, for me, a year of redemption, whether measured in friendships, in talents, in brain cells;  at 40, I’d wandered through much of my life feeling as if my potential had long since been drained away in lost opportunities and neglected abilities.  Then, in the fall of 2008, after a 20-year “break”, I re-enrolled in college and discovered that I still knew a thing or two.

It was through 2009, however, that I learned that somewhere along the line, I’ve developed a much greater passion for life and learning than I’ve ever had.  Suddenly, my life is not defined by the years rapidly vanishing in the rearview mirror, nor by the indiscernible fog of the future, nor by the fleetingness of the scenery as it races by me.

Instead, I am simply enjoying the journey along the way.

Oh, and writing about it.

Same Blog, Different Year

2009 is officially behind us, but I’m too physically and emotionally exhausted to process, parse, and pontificate on the significance of the date change in my life.  I haven’t abandoned this blog, but I took a much needed break after my last term ended, haven almost literally written my brains out over the past four months.

Traditionally, New Year’s Eve has always been a time of quiet introspection, of reviewing the past year and looking forward the year to come, of contemplating life, the universe, and everything.  This one, though, was spent in sheer exhaustion, having spent the day at the hospital with my wife for her carpal tunnel surgery (which went well) and her subsequent recovery (which did not go well).  Having only slept for one hour the night before, by the time the ball dropped, I was dropping as well.

My only tangible resolution for 2010 (so far, and I’ll explain that philosophy in a future post) is to just keep writing, no matter what.

Not tonight, though.

Happy New Year!