Transitions

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

As of this writing, I am 42 and a half.  I am still at the beginning stages (I hope) of the second half of my life.  My first 40 years are still a set of taillights in my rearview mirror, driving away from me, but still close enough for me to hear the roar of the engine, to smell the exhaust left behind it its wake. 

Many things have changed over the past couple of years, and I am acutely aware that I am in a state of transition… only I don’t know what lies ahead.  I’ll let you know when I’ve figured it out.  In the meantime, looking back at the posts I’ve written here so far, I can see several things:

1. I haven’t found my blog ‘hook’ yet.  I intended to just journal some of my thoughts and perceptions as I entered my post-40 years, but I’ve yet to find a specific focus to write about.  I’ve written about writing, I’ve written about school, I’ve written about emotions, I’ve shared a few items I found to be interesting or humorous.  I’ve made my own attempts at being insightful and introspective.  Which brings me to the next point…
2. I’ve spent a lot of time saying much, yet saying nothing.  That’s not to say that I haven’t said anything of inherent value, for much of the worth of writing depends upon the reader, which in this case was me.  *I*, at least, identified and related to what I wrote.  My point is, though, that I need to find my focus point for this blog, and to write posts more closely related to it, instead of random meanderings.  Which brings me to the NEXT point…
3. I’m too wordy!  Enough said.  And finally…
4. I’ve slacked off in writing posts.  Again, stating the obvious here.  As has traditionally been the norm for me, I started this blog well, writing regularly, but all too soon completely fell off the map.

So, here I am, almost a year after starting this blog, picking up the proverbial pen once again.  I’m going to try to make a few adjustments in the above areas, and see if I can’t get back into the swing of writing regularly again.  One factor that may motivate me to do so is that I’ve recently begun a stint as one of the student bloggers at Granite State College.  I’m tasked with writing 8-10 blog posts over the course of a 12-week term, so perhaps writing there will inspire me to write here as well.

What does all this have to do with the Emerson quote above?  Simple.  Among my critics, perhaps the one I take the most seriously is my own inner critic, who constantly urges me to just quit, who tells me that I’ll never succeed at anything, who relentlessly torments me with self-doubt and self-condemnation.  I’m learning to ignore him.

By the way, if you’re reading this, and are interested in checking out my other blog, it’s here:

http://blog.granite.edu/blog/underacheiver-no-more

And, having said that, if you are reading this…. Thank you!  :-)